Healthy Marriages Grand Rapids

What is Smart Marriages?

Founder Dianne Sollee explains the simple yet brilliant idea behind the Marriage Movement

The idea is that love and marriage are actually skill-based propositions. We know Americans value marriage. In fact surveys find that they value having a happy marriage above all else -- ahead of money, satisfying work, even health. 90% of Americans marry. Then divorce like lemmings. We've had a 50% divorce rate for almost thirty years. If they divorce, what do they do? They run right out and try again. 75% remarry. But the divorce rate for remarriages is even worse -- 65%. And even worse than that if there are kids around. We've almost come to accept this as the way it has to be -- a crap shoot with a 50-50 chance of finding the right person -- finding real, true, bona fide love. And if you don't, you get a divorce. Enter Smart Marriages®.

It's the idea that marriage is skill-based. Like football. The way we have it set up now a couple gets married and we send them out there to win based on "love and commitment." That's like asking a football team to win on team spirit -- "for the Gipper" -- but not letting them learn any plays or signals. No skills at all -- just win on love. The basis for the smart marriage® concept is exciting new research that finds that what is different about the marriages that make it -- that go the distance and stay happy -- are behaviors or skills. And even more exciting they are simple skills that anyone can learn.

For the rest of the interview, click here.

Still Time to Attend The Necessary Nine - February 6

Ready to kick-off Celebrate Marriage Month with a lunch date? 

When it comes to marriage, there are nine actions that are "must-do's" for anyone who has said "I do."  And although the list may look simple enough, Dan Seaborn makes sure couples understand the "how to" part of developing and maintaining a healthy and successful marriage in this list that helps couples grow and stay together. 

On February 6, Dan will share his dynamic presentation that challenges couples to keep the passion and commitment in their relationship, proving that marriage can last a lifetime and grow deeper in love with each passing year.  His personal stories and illustrations will bring a smile to your face.

Bring your spouse and be ready for a luncheon date filled with "Nine Elements" for encouraging and uplifting your marriage.  Click here for information about registration.

Click here to see The Necessary Nine.

What is PRE-pre marital education?

Upcoming talk about reaching youth with relationship skills, March 12, 2008.

So you know that pre-marital education helps couples: higher rates of marriage success, higher marriage satisfaction and commitment, and better communication and conflict resolution skills.  You may even know that now over 95% of couples getting married in Kent County receive some form of pre-marital education.  

But what about the growing number of individuals who co-habitate and don't get married?  Or what about those who get into dysfunctional relationships and set patterns that will affect them for a lifetime?  Or what about the number of people who just "go through the motions" when it comes to pre-marital preparation because it's just a "hoop" they need to get through during a very tasking and stressful wedding planning process.

All of these factors point to a larger need: the need to get adolescents thinking about healthy relationships!  The truth is, although they're very interested in dating, teens don't know how to date.  They know what they've seen on TV, and they know what they've read on the internet.  In fact they know a lot more than their parents do about My.Space, blogging, chat-rooms and other technological wonders.  What they don't know are the tools for successful relationship building.

To preview the March 12 presentation from Dr. Jaarsma and Pastor Carter and find out how to register click here.

PREP:  It's all about Communication by Remi Rakipi, MSW,CSW

A satisfying marriage takes conscious work.  We all know to perform regular maintenance on our homes and cars, but our marriage did not come with an instruction manual or a maintenance schedule. Living a conscious, or "intentional" life, is all about being connected to your core, authentic God given "self," making daily and long-term decisions that support and sustain your balance and health, and as my minister once said, being "in constant dialogue with God" and (I'd add) your spouse.  Whew!  That's a lot of work, and there's no finish line that we reach and are then in a "safe" zone, either.  So being in a conscious and satisfying relationship, we have to acquire knowledge and skills beyond what we learned in our family of origin. 

To read the rest of Remi's article, click here.

For information about registering for PREP, click here. 

Healthy Marriages Grand Rapids (HMGR) is a nonprofit 501(c)3 organization dedicated to helping adults and young people learn skills which enable successful relationships and marriages.  We serve as an advocate and resource for marriage education and support programs which help teach relationship skills.  HMGR is non-political, and our activities are funded through support from private donations and the Pine Rest Family Institute.